Taco Salad

Day 20 zero at the Saufley’s
Day 21 Saufley’s to The Anderson’s
24 miles

I’m up at 3 am with the The Itch. Not quite like crotch itch or scabies, but rather an anxiousness to get going North. Not so much True North, but to the left and up then right and up and around things and down and now I must poop and so I head eastward.

No, but in all seriousness, I was really itching to get to The Anderson’s because they are the… how do I find the words to describe the kindest people? If you ever lose faith in humanity visit the Anderson’s. As an added bonus, you’ll be less of a square.

So I quietly shove shit into my pack and tip toe around cocoons of sleeping hikers. God Speed my filthy friends. Dogs bark as I creep along in the dark.

The heat of the sun comes out just as I arrive to The Anderson’s Oasis cache. I opt for a soda instead of a Natty Ice, there’ll be plenty of shit housing later.

At the road, Tiny, Mac, and I get a hitch from a lady who runs a llama farm. We smell worse than her llamas I bet.

Commence shit housing.

Fast forward to Taco Salad. It’s like thru hiker Thanksgiving. Every evening Terri sets out enough fixings so every hiker can gorge on an obscene portion.

I don’t jump up right away to step in line with the new arrivals. I even let the guys who’ve been there for a fucking week get ahead. Because I’m a PCT vet, it’s very important to remain casual about these things. So I help myself to a modest portion.

Meanwhile, one of the guys who’s been there for a fucking week decides to chime in about my taco salad etiquette. He turns to me with his beady stoner eyes and says that I have to put my plate over the table or else I’ll get it all over the driveway. But I wasn’t, my plate was modest.

So let’s throw the I’m -a-casual – vet shit out the door because I’m feeling very cantankerous. I pause for a moment to think about what I’m going to say to this guy; this guy who’s been mooching off the taco salad for a fucking week.

I poke him into a corner with pin prickly little questions like “Is this your first thru-hike?” Yes yes it is. Just make casual conversation and then let ’em feel the wrath of the I’m-an-arrogant-know-it-all-PCT vet.

This is my fourth year eating taco salad, how could I fuck this up?

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